Monday, February 3, 2014

Questions I Hate Answering

I suffer from a nervous system disorder, Hyperhydrosis (or Hyperhidrosis), which causes my hands and feet to sweat. This isn’t just an ordinary reaction to freaking before a test or speech, but something I deal with on a daily basis, all day and all night. So it’s no surprise to me when my hands are dripping for no reason. Though I can’t help it, many people still put me in the category with others that have been exercising, or doing anything physically taxing that would cause this problem. However, no one can tell me what has caused this for me. While I’m well received by some, I’m looked at as gross and weird/freakish to others, but I can’t do a thing about it. I’m always asked the same question, and it’s one that many people don’t even want to really know the answer because they’re afraid of what they’ll hear. Despite this, I’m always asked why my hands are profusely wet. I try explaining my disorder, but once they hear that it is sweat I’m usually looked at as gross. Many people just say “Oh,” or “That’s weird.” Little do they know how much I get that sort of response, which is usually every day.  I’ve gotten to the point that even though I know people are just curious, I also know what most of their responses will be like, so I’m too afraid to answer. It hurts, and people don’t realize how even just a simple expression like, “Oh,” cuts me to the core. I hate even talking about it now. It sets me apart from everyone else, and it hinders me from doing some of the things I used to love and were good at like Cheerleading and drawing, but I can’t do those now because I slip while tumbling down the mats or rip the paper I’m drawing on. I can’t bring myself to do these things because of that one simple question, but it has made all the difference in how I live my everyday life trying to avoid contact with people. I would much rather be an outgoing person, but the ways to try and fix this can be invasive and risky so I just try to cope. So when I’m wondering about something someone has or does, I don’t typically ask them unless I’ve grown close as family to them because I know that even though it’s just an innocent question it still can hurt.

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